It doesn't have to be your 'best'

The writing permission slip I didn’t know I needed

A photo I took of the sun setting over Blackpool pier on Thursday 17 August 2023. The sun is hidden behind a swirl of clouds which are glowing golden, orange and salmon pink. The tide is far our and the pier is visible on the left, almost in complete silhouette

Hello you,

I hope you’ve had a bit of sunshine on your face this week?

Today’s letter follows on from last week’s post.

What are you postponing?

This question, what are you postponing?, definitely struck a chord with lots of us.

Thank you so much for reading, sharing and commenting with your own responses to this prompt. I’ll be honest, I’m still getting used to real people actually reading my words! There have been mixed emotions for sure, but mainly joy, gratitude and some celebratory kitchen dancing.

Of course I’m going to mention Amie McNee again! (She is very present in my creative journey at the moment).

This week, with her encouragement, I dug a bit deeper into why I have been postponing finishing and sharing my novel. This is what arrived on my journal pages.

“The novel does not represent what I’m capable of now. I started it three years ago and my ideas and skills as a writer have evolved.

“I am better than this novel. I don’t want to put my name to something that doesn’t do justice to my capabilities.”

Oof! And breathe…

This perceived ‘gap’ between my actual work and the writer I believe I can be has caused a massive block.

Amie responded with something that, even though it’s sort of obvious, blew my mind.

“You are allowed to share art that isn’t your best.”

When I wrote this in my journal, my muscles relaxed a little.

“It doesn’t have to be your best to be worth sharing. Your creation could still move people, entertain people, change lives.

“It’s not for us (as the artists) to judge whether it will have an impact on someone or not.” - Amie McNee

Well, knock me down with a blooming feather.

This is the permission slip I didn’t know I’ve been waiting for.

I have been putting SO much pressure on this book to be the THING that represents me as an artist. My big debut.

It’s too much!

But, I can actually just put it out. Even if it’s not the absolute best possible book I’m capable of, I can still release it.

How…freeing!

I also realised that not finishing this book has been a huge barrier to me pursuing other ideas. I have lots! But they’ve been getting backed up.

It’s almost a form of punishment. I’m not allowing myself the space to play and develop other book ideas until this one is done. But I’ve not been doing it.

This is what writing a novel looks like…A bed (writing space) in disarray. On top of the bedding is a laptop, papers and books. Beside the bed are two half drunk mugs of tea.

I’ve been looking at my book as an infinite list of problems to be fixed, rather than a flawed yet wonderful creation which deserves to be seen by someone else other than me.

To use another Amie-ism.

“Stop hoarding your art.”

These reflections have connected some more dots, too. This is why my writing practice on Substack has been so beneficial for me in overcoming this sneaky perfectionism.

My routine is to publish something Sunday at 8am. The truth is, these pieces are not the absolute best that I am capable of.

If I had weeks and months to expertly craft them, polish them and make them shine like gem stones, they could be better. But my weekly deadline compels me to press publish and put out flawed words. Typos, clunky sentences and all.

And do you know what? People still connect with what I’m writing. How awesome is that!? I am proud of my writing here.

Some people say my words have helped them. Some have pressed the heart button or shared something I’ve written with others.

Amie is right, we can put out something that is not ‘the best’ and it can still have an impact on someone else.

And this can be the same with my novel. I mean…wow.

“The route to creative success is to put out wrong art.” Amie McNee

This week I’ve been working on getting my manuscript into a good place to share with the editor I’ve booked.

I’ll admit I find this part so dull. Looking at grammar, spelling and ways to tighten up passive writing...the resistance is real. But I’m excited that this is part of the finishing process. I’ve never got as far as this before with a big writing project and it’s all a learning curve. And I do love learning!

Thanks for being here for the ride as a I have yet more realisations about creativity and blocks.

So, over to you. Do you have a piece of imperfect art that you have resisted sharing?

Is sneaky perfectionism showing up for you?

I invite you, creator, to do the generous, brave thing and share it anyway! I am cheering you on all the way.

Thanks so much for being here. Until next week,

Janelle x