What can you put in place?

Pre-empting and planning for our ebbs instead of being caught unawares.

Tranquil Derwentwater on Thursday morning. Blue skies, autumn sun on the mountains, empty boats awaiting the days tourists

Hello you,

I hope you’ve been doing okay this week?

I’m going to give myself permission upfront for this to be a half-thought through, imperfect letter to you today. I mean, I always try to give myself this permission but, ya know, the perfectionist never fully leaves the building.

So, I hope you get something from this. I’m sure I’ll get something from writing it because I usually do.

Anyway, I am on LOW BATTERY.

As I write, my head feels a bit too heavy for my skeleton and also feels like it’s filled with the innards of a duvet.

How about you?

My invitation to you today is, what can you do for yourself in advance?

The week just gone was a very intense and busy one for me. It included lots of travelling, lots of plate spinning and being in amongst a LOT of people.

Younger me would have had this all in the diary and not really thought about it. She would have said yes to attending everything, put pressure on herself to be the best version of herself at all times and then would be completely blindsided when she crashed into an exhausted zombie-like crying heap.

“Why is this happening!?” She’d sob.

If only I could give her a hug and say; “Oh, younger Janelle. It’s okay. You’re basically living your life like you’re an extravert with Duracell bunny levels of energy. This isn’t you, babe.”

I’m proud to say that I know myself a lot better than I did a few years ago.

This time, instead of being surprised by the energy crash, I fully expected it to come and planned accordingly. (I know right!? Growth!)

These are some of the things I did;

• Backed out of going to a concert and seeing friends last weekend

• Allowed myself naps during the work day

• Made sure to note what I HAD completed as well as thinking about what I hadn’t

• Decreased consumption of news and harrowing content

• Wrote kind and compassionate things to myself in my journal (my inner critic is loud when I’m tired)

• Did more Headspace breathing exercises and meditations

• Booked cancellable accommodation for the night before and night after the event I was volunteering at, the amazing Anti-Racist Cumbria Summit 2023 even though it is technically in driving distance

• Even though I had to be there at 7.30am. I deliberately set my alarm for much earlier and very slowly and quietly got ready

• At the event I stepped away several times into a quiet room and I ate lunch on my own

• I went and sought out beauty and solitude the next morning to decompress (see clip of Derwentwater at dawn)

• I didn’t think for a moment about starting NaNoWriMo

• I kept my calendar completely empty this weekend

Alongside being proud of myself, I recognise that a great deal of privilege and good fortune puts me in a position to do all of the above.

I’m also trying to be more accepting of how I actually am in the moment, rather than feeling frustrated or wishing it away. (This is influenced by reading Lama Rod Owens’ book, Love and Rage, recently).

I feel like I’ve got a lot more I could say on this theme but I’ll leave there, cos: tired.

My hope is that this is a reminder to us that although sometimes things happen that we cannot plan for, sometimes we can have foresight.

Here’s to being more honest about the real us not the fantasy version of us that has infinite capacity.

Here’s to thinking about what tweaks and plans we can make for ourselves in advance.

Do take care this week and thank you. It truly means a lot that you are choosing to read my letter.

Janelle x

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