Accepting ebb and flow
A good old cry and the right self-help book
Hello you,
Just to say, thanks so much for reading and being here.
On Wednesday I had a big wobble. It had been brewing. Wrapped in my crumpled sheets, splayed out in bed in the middle of the afternoon I recorded a voice note to myself (to try and get my honest feelings out) which turned into a sob fest.
Not only was I absolutely spent of energy and unable to focus on what I was ‘supposed’ to be doing, I was in a negative self-talk spiral.
Even though I knew these thoughts would make me feel worse, I couldn’t seem to quieten them down.
There are some times in life when Katy Perry’s Firework lyric feels like the only way to sum things up.
“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?”
As I lay there feeling sorry for myself, I spoke out my frustrations.
“I’m trying so hard to do all the right things.” (Meaning I’d been trying to solve things via a checklist of napping, journaling, Headspace, putting my phone away etc.)
“None of it is working.”
“This is going on too long.”
“I just feel like my tolerance for doing stuff is getting smaller and smaller.”
And I was being rather convenient in the version of events I was telling myself.
“I’ve hardly even done anything, WHY do I feel like this?”
Not true. This was the day after a three hour round drive. In the middle of which I led a team meeting/ workshop with 20+ people. Which was also after a weekend of hosting a beloved friend at ours when I was already feeling low on energy.
Funny how our inner critic is selective with the truth eh?
Often when I’m in one of these depleted states I will search around for the magic salve. I’ll listen to life coaching podcasts, I’ll read soothing words from other writers (like this beautiful piece from
), I’ll Google various ailments I might have that could cause me to feel so fatigued. This time was no different.Handily though, I ended up gifting myself the perfect, comforting tonic.
’s book I Didn’t Do The Thing Today landed on my doormat this week.
Reading the short chapters in fits and starts when I had the brain power was soothing and validating.
“Perhaps we don’t want to be more productive in our days, but more fecund – that is, more capable of producing new growth…
“To be fecund, we need to be nourished. This view shifts the emphasis away from the things we accomplish and towards the things that feed us.” - Madeleine Dore
The next day, still feeling crapola and once again lying prone, Dore’s honest observations started to land with me and a phrase arrived which finally gave me some comfort and a doorway into acceptance.
Ebb and flow
I sat there with this concept of ebb and flow. I journaled on it and I could actually feel myself unclenching.
I gently asked myself;
Why am I expecting my life to always be flow?
Why am I expecting a constant and consistent flow of energy, creativity, inspiration, motivation and capacity?
Ebbing and flowing is natural. It’s the way of tides, the moon, the inhale and exhale of our breaths.
Google tells me that ebb and flow is; “a recurrent pattern of coming and going or decline and regrowth.”
Too much flow and we’ll drown, completely submerged.
Too much ebb and we’ll be parched and desolate.
Ebbing and flowing is necessary. We NEED both.
Right now, I’m in the middle of an ebb.
And that’s okay.
Flow gifts us periods of glimmering abundance followed by ebb’s phases of retreat.
You can’t have one without the other.
The cycle continues.
I love being in flow. But maybe I can only experience the highs of flow because of the ebbs. I should welcome the ebbs. I’d like to allow the ebbs.
Try not to be impatient.
Trust that after the ebb, flow will return.
“Once we’re thrown off our habitual paths, we think all is lost; but it’s only here that the new and the good begins. As long as there’s life, there’s happiness. There’s much, much still to come.” - Leo Tolstoy (another gem from Madeleine’s book)
And breathe…
What does ebb and flow mean to you? Are you accepting of the ebbs and flows in your life?
Janelle x
This was a beautiful read, Janelle! I totally agree with you and I'm forever working on accepting the ebb and flow too. Thanks so much for the lovely mention too - I'm so glad you found a little comfort in that piece. Always helps me to know we're not alone with these things, y'know?! Here's to keep the inner critic at bay and going along for the ride of it all - ups and downs included. 💗
What a fantastic read. You summed up an itch I've been trying to scratch so succinctly and beautifully. I dwell way too much on my ebbs. This is a fantastic reminder.